The Associated Pest

As America prepares for Christmas this year, not all is well with its economy or the world economy for that matter. A recent article in the New York Times outlines how home prices have fallen over the last year. The downturn in home prices has evaporated equity the American economy has been […]

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Tonight, Take the Dolphins. I’d recommend buying 3 points and getting them at 18 1/2. Cost you a few bucks for more peace of mind.
Good Luck,
The Southsnake

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Dear Sasha,
I just read that post about Mr.Schmidt being too depressed to masturbate, and I suffer from something similar. Everytime I masturbate, I am filled with shame. I have even started to see hair growing on my palms, and I swear my eye sight is getting worse by the minute. I know you aren’t a […]

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In a stunning turn of events, local man Gary Schmidt confessed that he was. in fact, too depressed to even masturbate.
“I can’t even really jizz,” said Schmidt. “I mean, I get hard and kinda rub on it, but still, it’s not very satisfying,” the area construction worker told friends and […]

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It was NBC’s version of a mystical Jerry Springer episode last week, when “Mind Freak” Criss Angel called out mentalist Jim Callahan on NBC’s live series Phenomenon. Callahan claimed to be possessed by the spirit of author Raymond Hill. Angel claimed Callahan was a lying bastard and followed his claim with […]

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Dear Sasha,
I just found out that my girlfriend cheated on me, and even though I’m pissed, I still want to be with her. But for that to happen, I want her to get tested. How do I tell her this without making her mad?
Sincerely,
Fred from France
I’m sorry to hear about what happened with your girlfriend, […]

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In a revelation that is sure to stun all of New York City, East Village resident Jonathan Simmers noted to several of his fellow bar patrons that the Village was, in fact, “not about the music anymore.” In addition, Simmers felt that the neighborhood “used to be cool, until it was infiltrated by all […]

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Editorial from a registered COMPLETELY Independent

Nothing maddened me more, while watching the Democratic nominees debate Thursday night, then when the question of abortion was raised. Not necessarily because of what the candidate’s stance was on the issue, but because of the dodging and “politicianizing” that ensued.
Wolf Blitzer, the debate’s moderator, posed a […]

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Well last week in college ball was another week that would be a miracle if you could have picked them. This past Thurday night Oregon went down to an 11 point favorite. I thought that was too low. I chose to tease them with two Saturday games, so I gave only 1 point. […]

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Faithful readers of The Pest are aware of my long standing crusade to relinquish myself from the icy cold grip of my contract with the Deathstar, err I mean Verizon Wireless. I’m sure that all of the other major cell phone carriers have just as many reasons to hate them, but I’m not in […]

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