Several days past I woke at my usual morning-time of around two o’clock in the afternoon and stumbled into the bathroom to shave. As I sleepily butchered up my face I noticed something I haven’t had to deal with for a while– a pimple on my chin. Of course I still get small blemishes from time to time, but this one was nasty; a survivor from middle school or early high school.
It was a painful and angry red bump, the kind you can feel all day long as a physical presence, and it was perhaps hours from reaching the point where it turns pus-yellow and cries out to be popped. This may not have bothered me much if I hadn’t noticed at the same time a few random sprouts of white hairs on my chin–not even gray, I’m apparently skipping ahead straight to white.
What kind of bullshit is this? I’m 27, and somehow simultaneously young enough to still get bad pimples yet also to have the beginnings of a white beard. It just doesn’t seem fair. I’m stuck in this no-man’s land of aging where I’m equally prone to reckless, testosterone-driven outbursts of bad behavior and poor decision making, as well as assuming the uncomfortable position as the mature, calm voice of reason (seriously, it’s happened).
Well, I didn’t have the hours to wait with a warm washcloth on my face bringing this sucker to a head, so I tried for a preemptive popping. It hurt like a sonofabitch, turned really red and filled up with crap. But it wouldn’t break, it just became harder than granite and sat there, mocking my best efforts to resemble an adult.
I guess this is my own aging-related cross to bear. It’s hard to gracefully rock zits and white facial hair, but I’m just going to take it as a challenge and find a way. Things could be worse. I haven’t gotten fat, addicted, OR married, and my hairline hasn’t moved an inch. Now if I can just remember where I stashed that reliable tube of tinted Clearasil cream back in high school…
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