Dirty Hippie Actions Won’t Save World

Dooms-day-may-be-on-the-way. Arctic ice is melting so quickly now, that according to Nasa scientist Jay Zwally, “At this rate, the Arctic Ocean could be nearly ice-free at the end of summer by 2012″ He’s talking about the record ice melt in Greenland this last year, and how we are at a point where less ice diffraction of the suns rays will cause warmer oceans, causing more melt, and sending us towards calamity exponentially faster each year.

Between this, the polluting of these very waters, and the destruction of hundred million year old rainforests, we’re doing what we can to usher in revelation the 3D thriller. But there are people doing what they can to stop the madness. Environmental agencies are gathering people together, showing the common man how he can stand up to corporate America, and demand that they follow the 90% of Americans who are concerned about environmental issues… or so I thought.

I decided recently, that instead of running the rat race, I might as well work a job that offered the hope of making a difference. It was with this in mind that I decided to interview with the organization Clean Water Action. My day was eye opening to say the least.

Upon arrival, I instantly observed a number of warning signs, like the pimply faced adolescent looking “boss”, the lethargic atmosphere, and a pregame that made me reminisce about my week as a door to door office supply salesman. I didn’t like it off the bat, but decided to keep smiling and hold judgment until the end.

We still had our four hour night of “canvassing” left, and I was intensely interested to see the “grassroots organizing” where we were supposed to show common people, door to door how they could get involved and make a difference in their communities, and the world.

So we left the office after a warning to the smokers (everyone) not to leave their cigarette butts in front of the environmental agency office, and we were off to do our noble deeds of the day.

I was paired up with a shitlocked hippy who had an obvious distain for both conversation and weekly showers. Again however, who was I to judge? Our day began with a $30 donation by someone who cared. I offered a warm thank you, shitlocks asked for more. Hmm.

For the rest of the night, I witnessed a door to door beggar. “We’re out here organizing and FUNDRAISING to protect Florida’s waterways, that’s something you can get behind RIGHT?”

“Of course”

” You can find out more about us by reading our sign in sheet”

(As they glanced down)

“Florida’s waterways are not under currently under protection so we put pressure to hold legislators accountable, by the way we prefer if you donate by check, that way we’re not walking around with a bunch of cash”

which is bull, people just tend to give more by check.

“Well I never said I was going to donate, what exactly do you DO again.”

“We put pressure on legislators to hold them accountable, by the way you can make that check out to Clean Water Action”

You get the idea. Over the course of the night I saw this scripted, abrasive nonversation over and over. If it wasn’t on the script it wasn’t worth saying, and when in doubt use one of your 3 give us money lines. If they’re still asking questions screw em, they aint givin us nuttn anyway.

I saw homeboy get into at least one petty, kindergarten-like egoic argument with a homeowner who wanted more info.

” Well, where can I get some more information about what you’re doing”

” Read this clipboard”

” This doesn’t tell me anything”

” How do you know, you didn’t read it”

” I saw what I needed to”

” No you didn’t, you didn’t read it at all. How are you gonna stand there and tell me…”

And as we walked off ” that guy was such an asshole!”

He also grabbed the clipboard from ready to sign people who made remarks that told him they were not donating. So much for organizing eh?

My “favorite” was an older gentleman, well dressed with a kind face who came to the door to let us know that his wife had passed away two days ago and he didn’t want to be disturbed. The heartfelt condolences I offered we cut off by a loud ” have a nice night” as my hippy compadre marched across his lawn to his next possible donor.

By the end of the night, I was left with a number of questions. Like how they could give 85% of donations, as promised, when the car load of us only made a little over a thousand that night. Only a couple hundred bucks above what the 8 of them would get paid.

I also wondered how they could get away with putting good sounding things on the clipboard that they had nothing to do with, like promoting the use of energy efficient technologies, and the discovery of new environmentally friendly fuel sources.

And finally I wondered how any of us are supposed to have hope. For the first time in recorded history, The Northwest Passage, the arctic route between Europe and the pacific is ice-free. According to Time, this summers melt was 10 times as bad as the previous average. This is a more serious threat than Saddam. Yet all of our resources are over there. Is “Clean Water Action” the best we can do? If the Earth has to depend on agencies like this to save us all…

Last 5 posts by RiTT da ReDD

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