The Associated Pest

JP- Staff Writer

Often a source of wisdom, medicine, poetry, enlightenment and witticisms JP is proverbially associated with transcendant thought, reason and epiphany. He is often romantically linked with Madonna, Paris Hilton, and Rhianna. Many of the details concerning his life are a mystery and he rarely reveals himself to his adoring fans. It is rumored that he claims direct lineage to Benjamin Franklin, Sir Francis Drake and le Marquis de Sade. Ultimately there are few luminaries quite his equal. Of particular interest to scholars and historians alike is his uncanny ability to manifest destiny.

Email: jp@theassociatedpest.com

Gabe- Staff Writer

From a young age Gabe was fascinated with news and world culture. He received his first subscriptions to National Geographic and the New York Times at age 4 and 5 respectively. Since the age of 8 he has traveled the world, most notably spending two years living with a small East African tribe that is unpronounceable in the English tongue. His unique perspective has garnered him an honorary doctorate from the School of Mass Communication at Vousdous University in Haiti as well as numerous awards and distinctions in the field of journalism.

Email: gabe@theassociatedpest.com

Sasha- Staff Writer

Don’t let the name fool you; I am not here to solicit sex from strangers on the internet. Or to promote sex with strangers from the internet. I am here to discuss sex, with those who may have questions about sex, with people who would prefer to ask someone who is not involved directly in their sex life. I enjoy talking about sex with friends and I have done years of research on the topic (in and out of bed). I feel comfortable when my guy pals have come to me with questions about the inner workings of a girl’s mind regarding the subject, as well as time with girl friends that wanted to compare secrets. This blog is intended to be a fun, safe, and enjoyable way for people to discuss a topic that can be uncomfortable to speak about. So lets get started!

Email: sasha@theassociatedpest.com

Steve - Staff Writer

There isn’t an easy way to condense Steve into a few measly paragraphs, but suffice to say this: He is awesome. Like, really awesome. Steve has lots of hobbies and interests, which, while including being awesome, also extend to include doing awesome things, saying awesome stuff, and subsisting on a diet composed solely of dripping, meaty chunks of awesome. Steve likes to take time off to bask in his own awesomeness, and perpetually exists in a state of 99.93% pure awesome. Most people don’t have the mental hardware to really GET that, but then again, most people are FAR from awesome.

The Southsnake- TAP Exclusive Correspondent

The Southsnake has over 50 years of gambling experience. While having no formal education, he has been mentored by giants of the industry including Big Louie, Franky the Nose, and Fast Phil. Notable achievements include successfully running for his life from some of the best bookmakers of the past century, hitting 10 for 10 in a New Years Day Bowl Game parlay, and picking the ‘69 Celtics over the Lakers when all called him crazy. He is a “fixed-game” historian and frequent lecturer at the Las Vegas chapter of Gambler’s Anon. The Southsnake will lend you his unique perspective each week and help you turn your meager paycheck into a nice investment.

Email: thesouthsnake@theassociatedpest.com

EP - TAP Exclusive Correspondent

EP is a graduate student at the University of Maryland, but he reads on a fourth grade level. His hobbies include drinking, smoking, and other types of ill shit. His posts are almost never researched and should not be cited under any circumstance.